i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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