Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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