Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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