all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
