Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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