oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
