I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
