Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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