Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
My life is pants optional.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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