marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
