just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize