Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
