Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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