i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
