I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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