addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
