those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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