i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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