Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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