U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Come back. Shots need mouths.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
