what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
