with your own penis?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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