what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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