haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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