we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Randomize
