all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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