i think my tv is drunk
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
