everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize