your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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