No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
