this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
