he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
