highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
