The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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