Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
