sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
