i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Randomize
