I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
