Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize