She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
