Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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