Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
