Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
