the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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