I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
There's always time for handjobs
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
