He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
