This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
