k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
