I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
