One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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