glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
