my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's rum buckets o'clock
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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