Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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