Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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