I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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