My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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