the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
