Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
