I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
