First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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