Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize