i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
