so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize