he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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