Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
