ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
