She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
