and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
