In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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