its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
